The Cores
by MemeShock
Summary: Just A little thing I came up with. If you haven't completed Portal 1 and 2, It won't make much sense. Eet is Goood :D
1. Chapter 1

Just a Little thing I came up with. You'll know which core is which.

(This uses all the cores apart from Wheatly)

* * *

><p>"SPAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!"<p>

"What is that?"

"Coconut Pecan Frosting."

"No. NO! Space is Space. No Coconuts. Just Space."

"An adventure in space... that would be brilliant!"

"GRRRRAAGAHH!"

"AH, Shut up!"

"The phrase 'shut up' was patented in 1876."

"What is that?"

"A time of Cowboys and Indians. I would have been a very attractive Cowboy."

"The Fact sphere is the most handsome of all the Spheres."

"You know what else is Handsome? Space."

"3 slash 4 cup space lemon juice."

"Lemons are unable to combust spontaneously."

"WHAT? I was gonna use them on explosion day..."

"Who are you?"

"Err.. I'm Rick... we went over-"

"Ohh, that thing has numbers on it!"

"That is a computer screen. They where invented in 1901 when a man made a projector from a Potato."

"3 and 3 slash 4 cup granulated Potato..."

"Space Potato, eat in space! SPACE FOOD!"

"Ewww!"

"How is that 'Ewwww' Little mis-"

"GRAAAAAAGH!"

"SHUT UP!"

"Whats wrong with your legs?"

(Silence)

"...Space."


	2. Chapter 2

Due the great response this has received, I shall write another one!

And I also realised that it only uses 6 of the cores. Wheatley is just... really difficult to write for. And the Morality Core is impossible. It just doesn't speak.

* * *

><p>"YEEEEEEEHAAAAWWWWW! SPACE!"<p>

"The Fact Sphere can no longer hear anything."

"WHAT IS THAT?"

"A garnish such as fish shaped crackers..."

"Fact- Fish Shaped crackers contain more protein than regular fish."

"Really? And all along I ate fish to build up my great muscles..."

"...Pull and Peel liquorish..."

"Pull Space here. Pull Space."

"Space does not exist."

"SPACE EXISTS! CALL THE SPACE COPS!"

"...Cranial Caps..."

"I have a cranial cap, makes my head solid."

"Ohh, What's that?"

"I don't know, but It looks valuable. A treasure for 'The Rick'."

"Fact- Selling is an exchange invented by the ancient Myans. They where shortly Taken over by the Nyans."

"...5 and a Half Cats..."

"...What?"

"...Space Cats, Chopped up into Space Cubes..."

"I like Space cats. Their favourite thing is the same as mine. Space."

"SPACE! WE GET IT! SHUT UP!"

"The Fact Sphere can no longer hear."

"Who are you?"

"The Fact Sphere."

"Who are you?"

"...The... Fact... Sphere..."

"Who are you?"

"Fact- The Fact Sphere now wishes to Impale the Curiosity Sphere on a large stick."

"What is that?"

(All Look up)

"That's a crusher little Missy. We Sell them too."

"Grgahha."

"Crusher will send up to space! SPAAAAAAACE!"

(SMASH)

* * *

><p>Don't Worry, they'll be fine... I think.<p> 


	3. Chapter 3

This is getting great support! ^-^

Sometimes chapters may take a while to upload. Sometimes it does become difficult to write for them.

But for now, ENJOY!

* * *

><p>"Whoa! That hurt."<p>

"Where are they?"

(Cores drop down)

(Thud- Thud- Thud- Thudshatter)

"Bzzzat. Error. Error. Error. Fact Not Found"

"What is wrong?"

"Grgahblagh."

"Quick! Is anyone a trained surgeon? Oh yeah, I am. Yeah, I got degrees in everything. Surgery, Medical, G.P, Operations... Operation."

"Inject with semi sweet liquorish."

"Error. Error. EEEEE- Liquorish is made of mashed up rats."

"Rat planet, ruled by rat people. Rat Man."

"Man? WHERE?"

"Man invented robots in 1963. Consequently, when man has died out we will invent them in 3929."

"GRRRRRAAAAAA!"

"I agree, Angry thing. Some men are insensitive. Woman though... well, I'll invent the sexiest woman I can."

"Fact – Insensitivity was invented by the Germans as an excuse for some of their actions."

"Vas dis dey duer?"

"Fact – I see what you did there."

"What is that?"

"A fact. All of my facts are highly interesting and VERY informative."

"You know what else is interesting? Space. Space has stars, and planets, and space!"

"Planets chopped into small edible squares..."

"What is he saying?"

"He is saying a cake recipe. It is very nonsensical and he is inferior to a sensible sphere like me."

"Some of the stuff he wants to put in it... It like a weapon. No, Its BETTER than a weapon. Its a bomb. A big, explody bomb. BOOM!"

"5 large eggs. Now Initiating cake dispensal"

(Cake lowered by claw)

"What is in it?"

"5 pounds Nitroglycerin..."

"Nitroglycerin is highly explosive when dropped."

(Claw pauses)

"What is it doing? Is it going to-?"

"5 tonnes dynamite lit by candle."

"GRAAAAAAAAAAAGH!"

(BOOOOOM.)

* * *

><p>I feel like there is a pattern emerging.<p>

EDIT: I've had a serious problem with my computer. I will not be updating for quite a while, and when I do, I might have to Re-Write it because my computers Hard Disk needs replacing.


	4. Chapter 4

Sorry I haven't updated in a while. I got a new computer though, so They should start coming again.

On a VERY good note, a new Portal 2 series on Youtube has been started. Check it out on Machinima. It's called 'The Underground' and it features custom cores, the first called 'The Paranoia Core'.

And he will be joining us!

* * *

><p>"WHAA!" (THUD)<p>

"Oh no! Where am I? I'm dead! THIS IS ANDROID HELL!"

"Who are you?"

"I'MTHEPARANOIACOREPLEASEDON'TEATME! Wait... I'm not dead?"

"No! YOUR IN SPACE!"

"Space... Spaceeee... OH! That place. Its not real! I figured it out. They say it has nothing it it, BUT THEY LIE!"

"Fact: This core Actually has some sense."

"HEY! I have plenty of sense, more sense than that scaredy cat. Be a man! Er... Core."

"Grablaghah, Grabhaaalgh."

"What is he saying?"

"He's conspiring against us! He is using a special code that will BLOW US ALL UP!"

"The Fact Sphere is beginning to doubt his judgement."

"Graaaa."

"I know your game mister... YOUR CALLING TO THE MANTIS MEN!"

"5% Caffinated Mantis Man with extra Hot."

"What are they?"

"THE MANTIS MEN! They built a special room, hidden away, after an experiment went wrong. I never saw it, BUT! I know it's there!"

"Mantis Men? Sounds like an adventure for..."

"Space?"

"ME! RICK! God, you always ruin my dramatic poses."

"Posing was invented by Issac Newton, after an apple was thrown at him and caused an Involuntary Limb action."

"5/ 4 and a half Frog limbs"

"Frogs? You mean the French? I had a VERY Romantic adventure in-"

"SPAAAAACE!"

"He's also conspiring! He keeps interupting you so eventually you'll get so mad that your circuits will fry!"

"Your logic is flawed. He is obviously interruption him because he is programmed to. Fact."

"Which one is right?"

"You know Curi, It think Paranoia Might be-"

"In Space?"

"See?"

"Wait... that makes my logic fl-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a ERRRRRRRRROR'}%)^&()£"

"How did he say that?"

"With 5 pounds semi-fried circuit."

"OHNOOHNO! He going to die! I knew it! SPACE CORE WAS CONSPIRING!"

"No! THE SPACE CRIMINALS!"

"Who?"

"Guys, I think we should focus on Fact... He doesn't look too good."

(Fact is sparking and twitching, his eye going crazy)

"ThhhhhhhE S2aqe r00t of Pi9iii EEEEE"

(suddenly returns to normal)

"10. In base four. Suddenly, I feel intelligent again"

"Gerblghmgh!"

"Space has cows!"

"...I can feel my IQ dropping. Fact."

* * *

><p>This is the best yet methinks!<p> 


	5. Chapter 5

HEEEEY!

So, I'm writing this on HOLIDAY!

Yeah, I'm Bored. REALLY Bored. You would think the South of France would be great, yeah?

Try it with 5 cousins, the youngest who adores me and constantly wants my attention, Have wasp sting you and have a MEGA reaction that makes your calf look super strong and to top it all off, Pick up a really painful cough and lose your appetite.

I cough-spat of the screen as I write.

Anyway, we There is 3 NEW episodes of the Underground!

So In this chapter, we meet the Protocol Core and the Ambition core! We will briefly introduce the Elite Core as well. See the 3rd episode and you'll understand.

**THIS NEXT BIT IS IMPORTANT.**

I will write a side story to the Underground. I am choosing 3 of the original 6 Cores to be in it. I Need help for this! I am having a poll and the 3 with the most votes will be in it. This story will not be affected by the Plot of the Show or the Plot of the new Story.

On another note, This is the longest chapter by a mile!

This was also long intro!

ON WITH THE SHOW!

* * *

><p>"LOOK! UP! SPACE CORES!"<p>

(2 Claws Come down with 2 Cores)

"THIS IS AGAINST STRICT APERTURE SCIENCE RULES AND REGULATIONS!"

"Shut it! Guess what? I'm flipping you the bird! I have no hands but that ain't never stopped me!"

(Cores Plunk on the ground)

"Who are you?"

"I am the PROTOCOL Core! I enforce all rules and Regulations!"

"And I'm the AMBITION Core! I say, SCREW THE ESTABLISHMENT!"

"5 rusty Screws."

"Rusty Screws? MY screws aren't Rusty! Or are they? Oh no, I'm Rusty! I'm Worthless!"

"Salad Fingers 5- Attack of the Rusty Screws. Now that was a Movie. You just don't get them like that any-more."

"Grayahh!"

"Did he just say a word?"

"Anger Spheres are not designed to make words, only Noises. Fact."

"Hey, Shut it! I'll flip you the bird again!"

"That is against ALL Aperture Science Protocols! Make one move and you're BUSTED!"

"I'm flipping you a flipping OSTRICH!"

"...Diced Ostrich..."

"Ewww! That's wrong!"

"You got that right Curriii... Did... Did you just say a non-question?"

"Did I?"

"Space Says yes."

"NO! I... A6m CUUUURRRRRR- Whats that?"

(Heavenly Chorus)

(Elite Core is lowered down in an Excursion Funnel)

"ITS DEATH! I Knew it! It was a conspiracy all along!"

"Really?"

"I Believe him! Ohhh, wait till GLaDOS hears about this!"

(Elite Core lands)

"Hello."

(Voice from Speaker)

"Who put that one in there?"

"Wait! NO!"

(Elite is taken away by Claw)

"He's going to SPACE!"

"Incorrect. He is, in fact, going to be incinerated."

"NO! Don't talk about the incinerator. I nearly got sent there! They tried to kill me!"

"Who?"

"Come closer."

"Hate to point it out to you Buddy, but we have no legs."

"That never stopped me!"

"It was supposed to stop you! You, You are breaking the RULES!"

"GRAAAAA!"

"Thank you. But listen... It was the Turrets."

"The Turrets?"

"THE TURRETS."

"From Space?"

"YES! FROM SP- No! NOT from Space. They are plotting!"

"Turrets have only pre-programmed voices and no conscience. They cannot plot."

"You say that Now, but when you turn your back on them they will kill you with-"

"4/5 cup of hydrochloric acid."

"NO! Wait... Yes.."

"How did he know that?"

"Another mystery for RICK! THE ADVENTURE CORE!"

"Adventuring is against Aperture Science-"

"Protocols? Yeah, well, when I'M in charge, my first 'Protocol' will be to abolish all other Protocols!"

"NO! PROTOCOLS ARE SPECIAL!"

"Who told you that?"

"No one. Not even mother. I just know."

"Graha?"

"My Mother was a 60 ton assembly machine. She... never told me anything..."

"Aww, the Rules-Boy is gonna CRY!"

"MOTTHHEEERRR!"

"Your Mother was never a real person. She was merely a Machine like you and I."

"That doesn't make me feel any better."

"If that doesn't, SPACE WILL!"

"NONONO! I don't want to write my will! That means I will DIE!"

"Fact- None of us can die due to the reassembly machine."

(Ding-Dong)

"The Reassembly machine is now of of action. We apologise for any inconvenience caused."

(Dong-Ding)

"...I was mistaken."

"You got that right! Ah well. Just makes everything more adventurous."

"You mean that if we destroy ourselves that we will DIE never to be re-salvaged, that is adventurous?"

"Hm... When you put it like that... Yes, Para. It does."

"Your mad! Your trying to scare me!"

"Gra, Gre gra grying gro grae groo."

"You mister need to speak properly! Mumbling is against Protocol!"

"It isn't."

"What?"

"I am plugged into the Aperture Science main database and it says nowhere that Mumbling is against Protocol. Your Facts are incorrect, and mine are correct."

"OMIGODOMIGODMOIGOD!"

"WHAT? I TELL YOU, IF YOU TALK ABOUT SPACE ONE MORE TIME I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!"

"Fact Knows about Space."

(Rick 'Facepalms')

"I give up."

"Don't give up! LIVE!"

"5 pounds nitroglycerin."

"Oh no."

"What did he say?"

"You Remember that cake?"

"That Cake?"

"Gra... Blah?"

"5 tonnes compact dynamite."

"Screw you guys, I'm out of here!"

(Ambition tries to get away, Succeeding in rolling about.)

"Your not mov-"

"I KNOW!"

"Initiating cake dispensing."

(Cake lowered by claw)

"NONONO! He is trying to KILL us!"

"This is against PROTOCOL!"

(Claws drops cake)

(All) "AHHHHHH!"

"... why was there no explosion?"

"Cake contains- flour, sugar, toppings and niceness."

"Oh, Well, That wasn't very Adventurous."

* * *

><p>I'M WRITING IT AGAIN HERE. VOTE IN THE POLL FOR MY NEW STORY, PLEASE!<p>

I'm starting a new tradition- A random quote at the bottom!

"If Peter Piper Picked a Peck of Pickled Peppers, Where would the Peck of Pickled Peppers that he Picked be?"

EDIT: I just realised the poll wasn't actually up. It is now on my profile page!


End file.
